Soul Calibur Frustration
by IzumiTheMoogle
Summary: Sephiroth is the son of JENOVA, capable of destroying entire worlds! But what happens when he walks in on his roommate Edward Elric playing Soul Calibur III? Gosh darn it, he wants to conquer that game! "WHAT THE FRICK! How did she kill me!"
1. Chapter 1

Sephiroth: Hey Ed…

Sephiroth: Hey Ed…. Whatcha doin'?

Ed: Hey Sephiroth. I'm Playing Soul Calibur III.

Sephiroth: _raises an eyebrow_ Soul Calibur? Sounds like a disease…

Ed: Ssh!! I'm TRYING to beat Mitsurugi's story on Tales of Souls Mode!

Sephiroth: Of course you are. -.- Whoa, who the hell is that guy in the samurai armor?

Ed: _sigh_ That's Mitsurugi…

Sephiroth: Why's he fighting that other guy with the scythe?

Ed: Because he feels like it!! Now would you please leave me alone?! I don't have much health left so I-

PS2: GAME OVER

Ed: _groans_ Okay, heck with this! You know what, I'm going back to character select.

Sephiroth: _sits down by Ed_ Whoa, hey, go back to that last guy!!

Ed: What guy?

Sephiroth: THAT one! _points to the screen_ The one that looks like Cloud!

Ed: Oh… You mean Siegfried?

Sephiroth: Yeah, yeah, him… Wow, that's weird… Can I take a whack at it Ed?

Ed: Uhh… Okay. I'll show you the basic controls. X is guard, O is kick, and triangle and square are other types of attacks… Vertical and horizontal I think… L1 and R1 are throws, and R2 and L2 are other attacks… Oh, and you can't guard against a throw attack, so…

Sephiroth: Alright, I think I've got the gist of it…

Ed: Why don't you try the basic 8 stage arcade mode first?? I think it might be a bit easier than Tales of Souls. _takes Sephiroth to the menu and goes to the Soul Arena_ Now you have to select your character.

Sephiroth: Hmm… _scrolls through the characters_ Hey, she's cute.

Ed: … Seong Mina??

Sephiroth: Weird name, but yeah.

Ed: You wanna be her??

Sephiroth: Nah, I think I'll be the Cloud dude.

Ed: Siegfried…

Sephiroth: Whatever… That's a big sword… See, his name SHOULD be Cloud!

Ed: Just press the X button!

Sephiroth: Okay, jeez… _presses X button. The 1__st__ round screen comes up_ Oh crap… I've gotta face that hot chick…

Ed: Now you might want some strategy… Time your attacks well. Seong Mina has good range and can- H-Hey, what the hell are you doing!?

Sephiroth: _pushing every button on the controller_ Trying to beat her! I think I'm doing good so fa-

PS2: GAME OVER

Ed: … _glances at Sephiroth, who's staring at the screen with his mouth agape_ Sephiroth… You can start again you-

Sephiroth: WHAT THE FRICK?! How did she kill me!! I'm so going to whoop her!! _presses the button for restart_ Okay… I'm ready for her this time… Triangle, square, R2, L2… Take that you- oh crap… OH CRAP SHE'S DOING SOME SORT OF COMBO AND IT- okay, she's done, but my life's not-

PS2: GAME OVER

Sephiroth: HOW DID SHE ATTACK ME?! I WAS BLOCKING!!

Ed: She did a throw. Remember, I TOLD you that you couldn't block a throw?

Sephiroth: How am I supposed to know what a freaking throw looks like?!

Ed: It's when she picks you up with her weapon and stabs you.

Sephiroth: …………. SHUT UP!! Okay, restart… _pushes restart_ … Doin' good, doin' good… And… AHA! Dodged the combo… And her throw can't kill me this-

PS2: GAME OVER

Ed: Before you try and kill anything Sephiroth, let me explain… She did a Soul Charge. That means for a moment her attack power was boosted.

Sephiroth: How does THAT work?! That can't be fair!!

Ed: It is. It's a perfectly legal move.

Sephiroth: No it's not! _presses restart_ I'm all over it this time… _mumbles curse words in Japanese_ Okay… Combo, combo, combo… DODGE!! Ha HA! Take that you nasty little-

PS2: GAME OVER

Sephiroth: … O.O

Ed: You know, it seems to me that whenever you start to have confidence she gets you…

Sephiroth: Okay, I know THAT wasn't fair!! That time she didn't even use her weapon!! She friggin' KICKED ME OFF THE EDGE AND INTO THE WATER!!

Ed: It's called a ring-out Sephiroth, and though it's annoying as hell, it's allowed.

Sephiroth: IT'S ALLOWED AS MUCH AS SASUKE'S ALLOWED TO COME WITHIN 300 FEET OF OUR APARTMENT!!

Ed: No, THAT'S illegal. Our restraining order won't permit it…


	2. Chapter 2

Some time later… Sephiroth and Ed come into the living room…

_Some time later… Sephiroth and Ed come into the living room_…

Ed: Jeez, that was something else.

Sephiroth: Shut up.

Ed: Didn't think it was possible for someone to lose 30 straight games to one character…

Sephiroth: I said SHUT UP!!

Kadaj: What's with all the yelling?

Ed: Sephiroth lost 30 straight games to Seong Mina.

Sephiroth: There should be a law against a fully armored guy with a ridiculously huge sword getting owned by a chick that's wearing a skirt, belly shirt, and has a stick for a weapon!!

Kadaj: … You guys remembered to put it back on normal… right?

Sephiroth & Ed: Huh??

Ed:… What are you talking about Kadaj?

Kadaj: When I play Soul Calibur, I set the game difficulty level to hard so it's more of a challenge… You guys put it back on normal before Sephiroth started playing, right??

Sephiroth: O.O ?!

Ed: O.O …. -.- … Crap…

Kadaj: ….. You didn't did you?

Sephiroth: …….

Ed: …. Umm, Kadaj, could you come with me please? _takes Kadaj's arm and drags him into the kitchen _

Kadaj: …?

Sephiroth: ……….

Kadaj: Ed, what are we-

Ed: You honestly don't know?? Sephiroth's your brother, isn't he? You're telling me you don't know what he does when he gets mad??

Kadaj: O.o………..-.- Aw, unchi.

Ed: Exactly. Now be quiet.

Sephiroth: _holds his right arm out, and a 6-foot long sword appears in it_ Masamune, we have some work to do… _starts randomly swinging his sword and shattering things_ EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kadaj: O.O My good China!!

Ed: Hey, at least be thankful we aren't your China.

Kadaj: Good point… Well, it looks like he's in another one of his moods… War?

Ed: Nah, this time I think I'm in the mood for Poker.

Kadaj: Fine by me.


End file.
